We do it every year– set a goal, hope to accomplish it, and usually fail miserably. Why does it always seem to go this way? Here are the 15 phases of your New Year’s resolutions.
1. Setting the goal
I can do this. I can do this year. New year, new me. I can totally do this! I’m going to be like a whole different person this year!
2. Getting pumped
I got this! I’m going to do it! I’m going to actually make a change. I will go to the gym this year. I will eat healthy. I will NOT. BREAK. DOWN.
3. Starting out
Beast mode: all systems go! Yeahhhhhh! You’ll never stop me! Never ever!
4. Going strong
Look at all the changes I’m making. I’ve been to the gym every single day for three hours and I’ve eaten nothing but protein, water, and eggs. I am on top.
5. Getting way into it
Should I be a bodybuilder? Maybe I should be training for one of those bodybuilding competitions because I’m seriously so good at this. I’m killing it!
6. Annoying everybody else about it
Ok, everyone knows you love working out all of a sudden. It’s all you’ve posted about on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. But, don’t you think this is a little overkill? Maybe just a little?
7. Missing one day
Oh no. What have I done? I slept in and then I ate a whole bag of chips. I’m a mess!
8. Worrying about the future
What if I never make it to the gym ever again in my whole life? Will I die early?
9. Giving up completely
Whatever, I’m done. I’m never going back.
10. Trying to get back on the horse
Maybe I could start trying again?? Maybe if I throw out all my junk food and ride my bike, I’ll feel better?
11. Wondering if it’s worth it at all
Except…that would mean I’d have to get up off this couch right now…and I really don’t feel like doing that today.
12. Trying something new
You know, I’ve always wanted to write in a journal…maybe I’ll try that instead. I’m sure I’ll be better at that!
13. Giving up again
I couldn’t even do it more than one day. That’s it…I’m done with this!
14. Deciding to stick with what you’re good at
I am amazing at watching Netflix and browsing the internet. I’ll just keep doing that. I need to build my self-esteem somehow.
15. Setting new goals
Let’s start over– maybe I’ll try reading a book every day or being friendly to people. You know, something easy like that.