15 Things Mature Adults Should Not Be Doing On Facebook

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There are some things you can get away with in your youth, like making tons of cheesy collage pictures and posting dramatic status updates so your friends pay attention to you.  Those things are ok to do when you’re like 13…when you’re in your mid-twenties, not so much.  So, here you go, grown-ups– here’s the stuff to steer clear of.  15 things mature adults should not be doing on Facebook.

1. Sending Farmville invites

Nobody likes FarmVille.  I don’t know a single person who actually admits to playing and liking FarmVille, so why don’t you all stop playing this dumb computer game and PLEASE stop sending invites to people like me who don’t want to play.

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2. Posting when drunk

We don’t want to see the messy debacles you end up in when you’re hammered.  We really don’t want to know about it. So please, for the love of all things holy, do not post when you are drunk. 

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3. Posting cheesy cliché pictures

Not only is this annoying, but it’s even more annoying when people start to like and comment on it and you’re just left there like, ‘uh are there no more sane people around?’  Come up with your own sayings, don’t steal crap from Pinterest.

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4. Posting cryptic messages

You’re just doing this to get attention.  You want everyone to ask what’s wrong and how can they help while you sip your coffee with a vague smile.  Stay away from cryptic messages.  If it’s too personal to hash it all out on Facebook, don’t post anything at all.

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5. Facebook is not your personal journal

This is not the place to write down all of your thoughts and feelings because honestly, people don’t care.  They don’t care about trivial things.  It will only turn them off to you and then you’ll have no friends.  Is that what you want?  You shouldn’t need to post things more than once an hour and not more than 3 times a day.

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6. Stop apologizing for being drunk

Don’t try to make things right, don’t try to glorify all the stupid crap you did the night before and don’t try to joke about it.  It happened, you were a jerk, we’re over it, moving on.

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7. Don’t post a million lovey dovey photos

These annoy the crap out of people and they also make single people jealous.  You don’t want to make single people jealous because then they stop following you.  So, if you have to post something about the one you love, do it sparingly.  It means more that way.

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8. Posting chain statuses

These are simply awful.  It’s like the leftovers from those chain emails you used to get and were warned bad things would happen to you if you didn’t share them.  This is the stuff junior high love is made of.  You are too old for this.

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9. Get into political rants on FB

Why, why, why would you ever debate with people on Facebook?  It’s like the capital of the trolls and people are just waiting to pounce.  You can make light political commentary but just don’t be rude or forceful about things, ok?

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10. Blocking your relatives

This is just plain mean.  Grandma got a Facebook account for the sole reason that she wants to see what you’re up to so don’t block her.  Don’t be mean to her.  I know they make obnoxious comments sometimes, just ignore them and go about your day.

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11. Friending people you don’t know

This isn’t Twitter or Instagram.  Facebook is for people you actually know in real life, not a way to make new friends with strangers.  When people get friend requests from people they don’t know, they get seriously creeped out.

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12. Sending tons of invites to events

Similar to FarmVille invites, people don’t want to be getting invites to “DJ Jam’s Freshest Party Ever,” more than like once in a month.

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13. Bragging excessively

We don’t need to hear about how you got your tickets moved up to the front row of the Taylor Swift concert or how #blessed you are with your kids.  You get the picture.

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14. Bashing your job

This is unprofessional and also rude.  Plus, it’s likely that word will get back to your boss and you could very well end up fired.

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15. Oversharing

If you think it might be too personal for Facebook, it probably is.  Post accordingly folks!

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