When you’re in a good relationship, you’re not worried about small things sending your romance plummeting downwards into its watery grave. But sometimes, even in a good relationship, you find yourself on shaky ground. Being open about things you’re self-conscious about can be scary, especially when you really like someone. It’s OK, you can totally work through those issues. Here are 15 things to never be self-conscious about in a relationship. Breaking through these issues may be hard at first, but they’ll only make you two stronger in the long run.
1. Getting into a fight
Whenever couples are like “We’ve NEVER had a fight,” I’m like “Good for you, you’re either the two most perfect people ever or you’re not talking about the stuff that needs to be talked about.” In a good relationship, you can pick your battles and you can fight them and it will be okay because none of the things you squabble about will be bigger than your love for one other.
2. Your body
We all have those days when we just can’t stand looking at ourselves in the mirror. But, try not to do it when your SO is around because it will upset them! They love your body and can’t understand why you dislike yourself so much. Maybe you should listen to them more and stop hating on your thighs, face, arms, abs etc.
3. Bodily functions
Look, farting happens, ok? If your boyfriend dumps you because you let out a fart– trust me– you didn’t want to be dating him anyway. Any person who isn’t understanding (or hello, doesn’t laugh out loud) of embarrassing body functions should just leave already. Burping, farting, even having to take a dump– they’re all natural and you shouldn’t be self-conscious about it.
4. Having an opinion about something
When you are in an awesome relationship you are allowed to rant and rave about the things you love and hate without being made to feel even one percent weird about it. This is why your sweetheart LIKES you, because you are so powerfully and specifically and undeniably YOU.
It doesn’t matter why you’re crying, you’re a human being and you’re feeling something deeply and that’s totally cool to do in front of the person you love/who loves you. Also, it’s impossible to ugly cry in front of someone you’re in a good relationship with because they think EVERYTHING YOU DO IS BEAUTIFUL. Showing vulnerability only deepens your relationship. That’s the magical thing about love, isn’t it?
6. When he’s having an off day
So your partner doesn’t own a suit and is wearing a borrowed, oversized blazer to your friend’s wedding, or maybe they’re having a day when they’re not their most charismatic, and that day happens to fall on the night you’re all going out with your friends. Give your love a break. They’re there, they’re trying and they’re only human. If they’re still kind to you, if they’re still trying to make you happy, if they’re still generally awesome in nature, they deserve a little break from being superhuman-charming-partner-person at all times.
Who cares if you’re not the best dancer in the world? One of the greatest things you can do with your partner is let yourself go when the music hits you. You should always feel awesome about being in each other’s arms or simultaneously spazzing out to Taylor Swift in your living room. This is the glory of being a twosome. It’s like the best moments of being alone, but better.
You feel the overwhelming pressure to be Wonder Woman in the eyes of the world and have an explanation/story/excuse for every personal and professional setback you’ve faced, but you don’t need to pull out the song and dance for your sweetheart. You’re allowed to talk about how you’re jealous of your friends or how you feel sorry for yourself. Your significant other should never make you feel like a failure, but you’re allowed to admit to this person when you feel like one.
9. Having a bad day
You have to lie to the barista at Starbucks and say you’re having a good day, you may have to tell your co-workers that everything is fine, but with your honey, you do not have to pretend like those cartoon storm clouds hanging over your head don’t, you know, exist.
10. Sex life
This is a personal thing between you and your sweetie and you shouldn’t feel embarrassed or awkward about your sex life. If you do find yourself feeling that way, talk about it and find a way to figure it out– don’t just ignore it.
11. Food choices
It shouldn’t matter why you have made this food decision. Whether it is healthy or not, food is a choice and it is a part of life. It is simply a personal choice that people make for their own reasons. You do not need to be embarrassed for food you do or do not like.
12. Mistakes while learning
The longer you are with your partner, the more you will learn about them and you’ll also stumble across things that they don’t like either. You don’t need to shy away or be terribly embarrassed over little mistakes that you make while you are learning about this person or what they like.
13. Your past
Whether your history is positive, negative, or somewhere in between, don’t hone in on the negative experiences and let it reflect your current behavior. Don’t make excuses for your past, it is what it is. If you want to change now, then do.
14. Cleanliness when you are doing you best
Things don’t have to look perfect 100% of the time. Think about it this way: everyone has a “messy” aspect of their life. Maybe their home is spotless, but the relationship with their spouse is messy. Someone’s car gets washed once a week, but his/her work life could use some help. No one on Earth lives a perfectly “clean” life in every aspect. We don’t apologize to others about our personal pitfalls (relationships, jobs, friendships, etc.), so why must we apologize for our homes or cars being a little dirty?
15. Putting yourself first
You don’t have to say yes to every single thing your SO wants to do. You will feel much better in the long run if you are honest with them and yourself. If you’re not up to a voluntary obligation, you don’t have to be. You can politely deny the request, whether it is a night out on the town or playing a sport, without feeling badly about it. It is okay to be selfish from time to time.