Depression is real, y’all and its effects can be felt by all. But your friend or family member who is struggling isn’t just trying to be difficult, they’re really going through a hard time and could use your help and support instead of your pity or advice. Because your advice probably isn’t helping anyway. So, stop saying cliché stuff and say things that really help. Here’s 15 things you should stop saying to depressed people.
1. “I really don’t get why you don’t want to go do things?”
So your friend who used to be really fun and loved to go out is now holed up in her house with anxiety. Show her some love. Don’t bring attention to the fact that she doesn’t want to go out– she already knows it. Help her feel loved.
2. “You’re making this really tough for me.”
Don’t say that. That’s just making everything about you…and let me tell you, this is NOT about you. So, don’t make it about you.
3. “So, does depression run in your family?”
If it does, I’m sure your friend will tell you on their own if they want to. If not, well, it’s not really any of your business, now is it.
4. “Can you stop being such a downer?”
Did you know that people with depression actually CAN’T stop being such a downer. Um, that’s why they’re depressed. They aren’t faking it.
5. “You should count each day as a blessing.”
You know what depressed people don’t need– a sermon. So, don’t preach one. Just tell them how much you love and appreciate them.
6. “Have you tried acupuncture? I’ve heard it works wonders…”
You don’t really need to suggest remedies to someone without them asking for them. Especially strange or expensive ones.
7. “Let’s go out tonight– you’ll feel better.”
Depression doesn’t work like that. You can’t just shake it off. Don’t make people do things they don’t want to do.
8. “Can’t you just get a grip?”
Sometimes it seems like a bit of tough love might get the job done, but really it will have the opposite effect. People don’t feel like they can open up to you.
9. “My aunt cut gluten out of her diet and her depression totally went away.”
Yeah…depression doesn’t usually work like that and it doesn’t work like for everyone.
10. “But your life is so great? Why can’t you get over it?”
People with depression can’t just ‘get over it.’ They need help and from you and they need support and strength.
11. Can you just snap out of it?
Nope. Just doesn’t work like that.
12. “You’re not going to take medication, right?”
Whether someone takes pills or not to help with their mental illness is not your concern. If that works for them, then leave them alone.
13. “Why don’t you try going to the gym?”
Now this person thinks that they’re out of shape, in addition to being depressed. Way to go.
14. “When I’m sad, I just move on.”
You don’t suffer from depression and therefore have no idea what it’s like to make a change in your life.
15. “Just try. You’re not even trying.”
How can you say that to someone? You have no idea of the battles waging in their mind that’s keeping them from doing many of the things that they want to do.