20 Hilarious Children’s Book Reviews

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Who doesn’t like children’s books? They’re usually funny, have a great plot, can teach the kids something and they’re easy reading. What’s not to love, right? Apparently, some books aren’t as well loved as we all thought they were. Here are 20 hilarious children’s book reviews that will have you laughing so hard or face palming,  you’ll want to go check out the book to see if it was really that bad.

1. The Very Hungry Caterpillar

“Ruined. My. Life.”

very hungry


 

2. The Cat in the Hat

“Psychological damage.”

Cat in Hat


 

3. Corduroy

“Huge and stupid.”

Corduroy


 

4. James and the Giant Peach

“Terrible! The worst book on Earth. Ugly! Ewwww.”

James



 

5. Goodnight, Moon”

“The description included a pair of bunny slippers which it did not come with. The book was cheesy and so not worth it without the slippers.”

Goodnight Moon



6. Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Stone

“I don’t know what to rate this book. It’s not the best, and the best character, i believe, is actually HEDWIG!!!! I really do love hedwig, and i’m glad that JK Rowling made her up because the book would be NOTHING. They use the word muggle in a lot of books, and im not sure if its her stealing OTHER peoples ideas, or if its other people stealing HER ideas. Anyway, i resent this book except for the parts with hedwig because a mail-carrying owl is so much more magical than the beginning of the book, even though the beginning IS magical. (I was even hedwig for halloween)!”

HP


 

7. If You Give a Mouse a Cookie

“Who would let a mouse into their house by bribing them with a cookie. If your kid did that in real life and you ended up with mice everywhere and feces it’s not going to be a good experience.”

Mouse Cookie


8. One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish

“It is like this book was written for a baby or something. Anybody looking for enlightened literature should look elsewhere.”

One Fish


 

9. Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?

“This book makes me want to end it all.”

BBBB



 

10. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

“This book has caused horrible nightmares to haunt me and every movement I make for the past nine years. I have not even tasted a blueberry or anything blue colored since for fear I will suffer the same fate as the characters.”

Charlie


11. Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

“The illustrations are great but I wouldn’t recommend it for a child being raised as a vegan. The underlying premise perpetuates carnism.”

Meatballs


12. Amelia Bedelia

“Amelia Bedelia doesn’t know the first thing about child care.”

Amelia


13. Green Eggs and Ham

“Better Titles: No means Yes: A Guide to Manipulating Others or How I Became an Addict”

Green eggs


14. Hop on Pop

“They didn’t actually hop on pop until about two-thirds of the way through the book, and when they did, the author never explains why it was happening, or even bother with any of the implications of the characters actions. This event seemed to be no more meaningful to the story than any other line or phrase in the book. The book could have just as easily been called Pat sat on a bat.”

Hop on Pop


15. Are You My Mother?

“A curse! An utter curse!”

AreYouMyMother1


 

16. If You Give A Moose a Muffin

“Terrible book. Both myself and my son were bored to tears! I would be better off reading my two year old the Wall Street journal!”

Moose Muffin


17. Holes

“Once again the only heroes in the story are either women or black men. All the bad, lazy, drunken, no-good characters are white males – like my son.”

Holes


18. Where The Wild Things Are

“To be fair, it does speak to the plight of the Guatemalan coffee farmer peasantry in an age of increasing colonialism and diminishing resources. That being said, though, the central premise, while eloquently stated, is grossly undermined by the frailty (and ultimate solipsism) of its inherent tenets.”

Where_The_Wild_Things_Are_(book)_cover


19. The Sneetches

“Who is the ‘bad guy’ in the story? Why it’s the entrepreneur, the business owner, the one person who appears to have a job……of course.”

sneetch


20. The Phantom Tollbooth

“I really didn’t like this book, I mean why would a package containing a TOLLBOOTH, be delivered into your room? What’s up with that? Besides, nobody would go through it with a little car that just happened to be right next to it, they’d tell someone! DUH!!!!!!”

Phantomtollbooth


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