Facebook is a wonderful thing, isn’t it? It’s a place we all go to mindlessly wander, learn new (and using boring) things about other people and to stalk people we want to know more about. It’s a great tool for following people or organizations that you care about and almost everyone in the world has an account, but it still has its issues. Here’s 29 hilarious tweets that speak the truth about Facebook.
1. When people say “like my photo and my dog will stay alive”
Facebook changes everything, doesn’t it?
2. But, really though…
One of you is forcing the other to have a shared account because there’s not a lot of trust going on there….
3. “It’s Steve’s birthday today. Send him good vibes.”
I haven’t seen Steve since 8th grade and I’m not about to start wishing him happy birthday now.
4. Know the right price
This is great information for people who need to use the power of a hit man.
5. Every week it’s the same thing
For all you Monday-haters out there, just get over yourselves already.
6. Wait, what is happening?
This is why mom doesn’t get on Facebook.
7. Does that make you feel better?
This is what happens when you’re single too long and you start to get bitter.
8. Leave me alone, Facebook
Sometimes Facebook gets a little too excited about things.
9. For those of us who don’t log in very often
We know you’re out there and we applaud your will to stay away.
10. Shut up, Facebook
It’s like your mom asking all those ridiculously nosy questions every time you come home.
11. Don’t write that
If you piss off the parents, you’ll instantly regret their absolute wrath and horror.
12. Yep, don’t care about them
Their dogs were cute but I really don’t care about these people’s lives.
13. Now everyone knows
You definitely don’t want people to know how active (or inactive) you are.
14. Oh, Facebook
15. Stop updating me
When people post the same thing week after week, we get bored with them quickly.
16. Isn’t it wonderful?
And wait, why are you friends with this girl again?
17. Go somewhere else
Get on LinkedIn so people think you’re really important.
18. No, I wasn’t stalking you
I also don’t want you to know that I was looking at photos of you from a long time ago, while late at night and sipping win at the same time.
Don’t you hate it when notifications disappoint you?
20. Oh no, mom
Who knows what awful baby picture she scanned and posted of me? *shudders
21. You liked a toilet paper company?
Well, now we all know what you’re into.
22. Way to go
Obviously your plan worked well.
23. Social media to the rescue
It saves your life every time you need it.
24. Stop sending Farmville invites
It’s the most obnoxious thing you’ve ever done…
25. But, really though…
I really am sorry. But, stop posting so many photos.
26. Judge away…
They post so much crap, there’s plenty to choose from.
27. The irony
This one is gonna be a doozy.
28. Looking for truth
Babies aren’t all that cute at first.
29. Self-esteem booster
Damn, I am looking good compared to her!