30 Most Hilarious Drunk Texts Ever

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Is there anything funnier than receiving a drunken text from someone you know? Whether it’s your mom drunkenly texting you how glad she is that she didn’t abort you or just a cringe-worthy recap of hilariously embarrassing things you did in your drunken stupor, mixing alcohol and texting almost always yields hilarity.

I’m sure most of you will relate to many of these drunk texts. I mean, how many of us can honestly say that we’ve never drunkenly texted an ex or called a prom date an obese penguin while drunk out of our minds?

Check out these 30 drunk texts by people who should probably stay away from their phones the next time they decide to get drunk. Enjoy!

1. After work party.

After work party


2. Are you single, babe?

Are you single, babe


3. Farmville Sucks.

Farmville Sucks


4. Gotta update my Facebook, officer.

Gotta update my Facebook, sir.


5. Hagrid is real.

Hagrid


6. Don’t try this at home, everyone.

he person who is making really weak decisions.


7. He’s right.

He's right.


8. I live in triumph.

I live in triumph


9. Jason is drunk.

Jason is drunk.


10. Jesus take the paper plate.

Jesus take the paper plate.


 

11. Magical Hugs.

Magical Hugs


12. Not that drunk, huh.

Not That Drunk


13. Oops.

Oops.


14. Optimus Prime is among us.

Optimus Prime


15. This is why you should keep your hamsters away from your drunk Pokemon nerd friends.

Pikachu i choose you


16. Thanks, mom.

Thanks, mom.


17. The Lord has spoken.

The Lord has spoken.


18. The person for whom alcohol has unlocked the secrets of Disney.

The person for whom alcohol has unlocked the secrets of Disney.


19. The person who can’t trust their drunken self.

The person who can’t trust their drunken self.


20. The person who finally understands what the truly important things in life are.

The person who finally understands what the truly important things in life are.


21. The person who has figured out a higher truth.

The person who has figured out a higher truth.


22. The person who has just regressed.

The person who has just regressed.


23. The person who is a cool dude.

The person who is a cool dude.\


24. The person who made a friend, and got very lucky.

The person who made a friend, and got very lucky.


25. Touché

Touche


26. Toyota?

Toyota


27. Wow.

Wow.


 

28. This other person who has also found a friend.

This other person who has also found a friend.


 

29. The person who needs a translation.

The person who needs a translation.


 

30. The person who gets himself.

The person who understands how they might come across.

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