Some people, when they get drunk, like to fight. Others like to sleep or watch TV. Still others like to call their exes to tell them how they really feel. And still, there are others who like to get on Ebay or Amazon while wasted and buy useless things they wouldn’t buy if they were in their right mind. Check out these 22 random and hilarious drunk purchases.
1. Taxidermy squirrel riding a velveteen pony
This was a great buy. This person clearly knew a good deal when they saw it because we all need something like this in our life. And yes, that is a real squirrel.
2. A Gary Busey mug
This guy was browsing the internet late at night and decided that it was simply something he couldn’t live without.
3. 20 bags of Salsa Verde Doritos
This Dorito flavor has been discontinued…but this person found them online while drunk and decided they were worth $43.00 to get them to her home.
4. This Simpson’s t-shirt
Because we all need a Simpson’s shirt with Asian markings on it.
5. This random poster someone bought online
Though this poster cost $20.00, the buyer claims he has no regrets about it and proudly displays the poster in his home.
6. Season 1 of your favorite Saturday morning cartoon
This guy was drunk and feeling nostalgic and decided he really needed to own a season of Johnny Bravo.
7. A box with 1000 pieces of Altar bread for Communion
It sounds like you’ll have something to dip into your Nutella for a while. Because…what else do you do with those?
8. A random Choco taco
It might take you awhile after buying this in your drunken state to realize just how that Choco taco ended up inside your freezer.
9. Batman supplies
You know…just in case. This highly intoxicated individual wants to be ready if Gotham ever needs him.
10. An umbrella hat
Hey, at least it’s better than using your hand to carry an umbrella, right? This person got something useful online!
11. A sailor mug
Your inner seaman must be trying to tell you something if you buy this when you’re drunk.
12. A dignified monkey painting
Only the finest art for the finest of moments….PS how do I return this?
13. Get the pizza guy to deliver you McDonald’s
This drunk guy used the special instructions tab to note that he didn’t want a pizza, just some McDonald’s delivered to him. It worked!
14. A horse mask
Well, look on the bright side– at least now you’ve got Halloween covered.
15. A Mexican underworld statue thing
We aren’t quite sure how this happened but it will either end up in a box or on Craigslist– any takers?
16. A Saddam Hussein rug
Because now you get to walk all over his face all the time and that’s not creepy at all…
17. A trip to Iceland
If you book yourself a trip somewhere while drunk, you don’t get to cancel without paying a huge fee. So, it looks like this person is headed on a vacation to Iceland!
18. Children’s plush animal hats
This girl spent $60 on a bunch of these. So, now her nieces and nephews can know what to expect for Christmas and birthday presents.
19. Bow tie for your cat
Strange but cute. We’d keep this.
20. Eyeballs for your car
You thought it would make your car look ‘cooler’ in your drunken state. Face palm.
21. Cindy Crawford’s beauty line
One girl went home from the bar around 3am and this infomercial was on TV. Although she’s in her 20’s, she spent over $120 on skin care aimed at 40-year-olds.
22. A Nicolas Cage pillowcase
Have you ever seen something so glorious and wonderful in your whole life?