Mother’s day is around the corner and as you head to the store to pick out a cute card for mom, be sure to stop and get her some chocolates as well. Also some flowers. Maybe a new necklace and a sweater or two. Just kidding–who’s got money in the bank to get all that! How about you just send her one of these painfully honest e-cards instead. She’ll laugh, swat at you and then give you a hug. Win-win. Here are honest and hilarious Mother’s Day cards you should actually send.
1. For the mom who has a secret favorite child
We all know there really is one kid that’s actually your favorite. It’s the one who is the most quiet, the most polite and the sleeps the longest.
2. For the mom who’s used to being forgotten about on Mother’s Day
Yes, we’re all so incredibly proud that you managed to send an e-card. A free e-card, mind you.
3. For the mom who had a rough labor
We really need to give moms more credit– pushing a baby out is actually really hard and painful and we all tend to forget that. Don’t even get me started on the 9 months that she carried you around inside her.
4. For the mom who wants you to post on her Facebook wall
Who needs love given in person when you can do it online?
5. For the mom who just can’t stop calling
What is it about mothers and leaving the longest voicemails ever? We just talked to her!
6. For the mom who’s technologically challenged
Oh look– a coupon for me to help you with something and be nice about it too! After all, I still ask you questions about how to be an adult all the time.
7. For the mom who had a teenager from hell
So, does this mean you’re getting her a new iPhone for Mother’s day?
8. For the mom who writes sappy, cheesy status updates
Normally, I’d get rid of that as fast as possible. But, today, I’ll leave it…just for you, mom.
9. For the mom who just wants a glass of wine
Ma’am, we understand that all those darn kids drove you to drink, so the least they can do is bring you a bottle of wine for Mother’s Day.
10. For the mom who hung on
Kids don’t realize what a complete pain they were until they’re fully grown.
11. For the mom who had second thoughts
You actually made it! They (and you) survived!
12. For the mom with dwindling patience
Don’t worry, mom, someday they’ll grow up, stop fighting, and stop needing you so very much.
13. For the mom who could have had a much worse kid
Rejoice in the good things, mom! Turns out, you weren’t so bad, after all.
14. For the mom who gave so much
Don’t worry, you’ll be taken care of too!
15. To the mom who spoke kind words
Thanks for all the pills and for all the loving words. You really did it.
16. To the mom who just wants to go out to eat
Who doesn’t love brunch that costs twice as much as normal?
17. To the mom who gave her all
Don’t worry, I hear you get back all the brain cells you lost in worrying when you’re old.
18. To the mom who supported me with money
Yeah, I still need your money, mom. College is hard and expensive. Then living on my own is hard and expensive too.
19. To the mom who gave up all her time
Thanks for all you did for me for all those years, mom!
20. To the mom who gave birth to a legend
Way to go. Everyone will know your name because I’m such an exceptional child.