Oh teachers…shaping the future leaders of our nation. They may not receive a lot of pay, but they do enjoy other perks, like having all of Christmas vacation and summers off to relax. They deserve it! Here’s what teachers do during holiday vacation.
1. Dream about things that would look great in their classrooms
*Look at all the shiny things I can’t afford!*
2. They feel like everyone is silently laughing behind their back
3. People ask them to write things on chalkboards
It’s because they have such lovely handwriting.
4. Writing thank you notes to students who gave them weird gifts
Uh…*thank you Timmy for the doll for my shelf. It’s just the kind of thing I would never buy for myself.* OMG that rhymed.
5. A family member stands up to go to the bathroom and you tell them to “sit back down.”
They need to know you hold the power to the bathroom passes….wait, we aren’t in school. Uh, never mind. Go ahead.
6. They feel relief every day around 3pm
It’s like they say “ahhhhhh,” everyday at that time.
7. They have an amazing ability to know what’s going on behind them
You can’t get anything past me. Not a thing.
8. They sleep in every day until well past when school starts
Ahhhhh….it’s 9:02 AM and I just woke up. I think I’ll just go right back to bed.
9. They can silence noisy people with just one look.
BAM! Laser beam eyes! Beat that!
10. They wake up sweating from nightmares about having to grade hundreds of papers
And even worse–starting school without a solid curriculum plan.
11. Seeing red pens gives them feelings of nostalgia
And now, they feel like they need to edit something. Oh, the euphoric joy!
12. They can’t do anything without drinking a large cup of coffee first
Must. Drink. Coffee. or Diet Coke if they can’t stomach coffee.
13. They find themselves taking control of large group activities
They need to be in charge. They are a teacher, after all.
14. They scarf down their lunch like they’ve only got 30 minutes
Relax…it’s Christmas break. You can take a whole hour, if you really want to.
15. They’re worried about running into parents of students when buying alcohol.
“Hey Mr. Smith! How’s Timmy doing? What– this? No, I wasn’t buying this for me.”
*I’m only going to take this home and guzzle it down and you’ll be none-the-wiser.*