Things Super Nice People Will Never Understand

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Sometimes it pays to be a little bit bitchy.  People are afraid of you and won’t mess with you.  If you’re really nice all the time, you get walked all over.  People take advantage of you.  You don’t have the gall to stand up for yourself.  It’s pretty despicable.  Which is why us bitchy people like things the way they are.  Here’s 18 things super nice people will never understand.

1. Blow a kiss, baby

You don’t mind when people call you a bitch.  Hey, if the shoe fits, right?  You recognize that you’re just strong and capable and that’s what some people think a bitch is.

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2. When someone’s mere presence irritates you…

People in general just piss me off.  There are so many people that automatically annoy me, especially if they’re dumb girls. 

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3. How you look in photos with people you don’t like

This guy has no idea how much his buddy can’t stand him.  No idea at all.

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4. Please everyone leave me alone

I don’t want you talking to me.  I don’t even want to be in existence right now.  Please pretend I’ve just disappeared.

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5. Get away from him

Girls better recognize that he’s taken.  He’s clearly taken.  So, back on up, girl.  Get on out of here.

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6. Just smile like it sounds nice…

Wow…you’re so good at singing…at least I hope that’s what the look on my face says.

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7. Wandering thoughts

I catch myself drifting off into daydreams about something totally unrelated.  Hopefully this person doesn’t ask me any questions about what they’re telling me…

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8. Wait, are you talking about me or you??

Jokes on you, bitch.  Don’t try to play with me unless you’re ready to get burned.

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9. People who are obsessed with themselves

Wow, I just love hearing story after story about you all night long…

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10. Stop posting ugly photos of yourself

You make my face do this when I see you.  I don’t want to cringe like this-– I’ll give myself pre-mature wrinkles.

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11. I like riding the elevator alone

Nobody likes standing alone in an elevator with the doors wide open.  So, unless you’re right there and ready to get on, you won’t be making it into this elevator.

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12. Boo, you whore

It sucks when a great night out is going to be filled with the presence of a person you hate.  Why can’t they just stay home?  They aren’t part of your crew!  Get out of here.

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13. It’s that wonderful feeling

When you’re all worried about your ex getting with a girl hotter than you and then you finally see the pictures and she’s horrendous and you’re like,”Yes, I win!!!”

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14. Never want to go out

Your friends want you to go out with them but you pretend like you’re sick every time you don’t want to go.  It’s ok, this horse does it too!

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15. You don’t own anything

Just bring that person back down to earth already…

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16. Don’t laugh unless you’re told

If I don’t like you, don’t try getting into my circle of friends and laughing at my jokes.

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17. Nobody needs to know

There’s weird stuff on my phone that no one would ever understand.  Except me.  So, leave me alone.

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18. I hate her

My face exactly…

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19. Got those judging eyes

I’m going to judge you all day long…

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